Priority

I'm a huge proponent of making things easy for myself as much as I can, so I tend to directly communicate my interest to someone. But sadly, this practice is not popular.

Often, I used to find myself in a situation where talking to a girl is like giving her a root canal. There would be no clear indication of disinterest and sometimes, they would even express clear interest. Still, I would be left waiting for replies, wondering what to say next, what she meant by this, and so on. Overall, just not a situation I like to be in.

Other times, my experience has been complete opposite. Its like a cheat code had been activated. Almost anything I would say was met by a positive response.

I used to think it was something to do with me. Some days I was in the "zone" and other days, not so much.

Over time, I have come to learn that that's not true.

When you're having to do a lot of guesswork and navigation, chances are, you're just not their priority. Nobody likes accepting that, so we try to look for other reasons, or excuses. But the medium is the message.

When you're top priority for someone, they'll let you know by their actions. There will be no doubt or guessing. The level of investment and attention they'll be giving you will be off the charts. They will respond immediately to your texts, initiate conversation all the time, and always be available. You won't worry if they will respond or not. Escalation attempts/logistic arrangements are cooperative and accepted. Its easy mode of the easy mode.

It makes sense because when you are interested in someone, you don't make it hard for them.

When you're not the top priority for someone, they'll also let you know by their actions. You will feel like you are doing all the legwork. They will seem cold, standoffish or rationing their attention. You will be left on read, waiting for responses, if you receive one at all. You'll get wishy washy communication and answers.

Its because you're not their top priority, someone else is.

The difference is night and day when you are and you aren't someone's top option. This, in my opinion, applies to every aspect of life.

Since it is their decision, and you can't force it, there is no point trying to communicate with a person who doesn't want to communicate with you, or is not as excited about you as you are about them.

If there is any doubt whether or not you are someone's top option, you aren't.